Shirt Destruction & Greatest Interview Ever

Shirt Destruction

You're going to wonder what the following story has to do with a shirt. It does but you have to bear with me. I was going to write about this a while ago but forgot about it until some moonbat posted about this guy today:

Darrell Anderson deserted the Army a while ago after his first 7 month tour in Iraq. He finally surrendered himself earlier this month. From Military.com:

RADCLIFF, Ky. - An Army Soldier who fled to Canada rather than redeploy to Iraq surrendered Tuesday to military officials after asking for leniency.

Spc. Darrell Anderson, 24, said he deserted the Army last year because he could no longer fight in what he believes is an illegal war.

"I feel that by resisting I made up for the things I did in Iraq," Anderson said during a press briefing shortly before he turned himself in at nearby Fort Knox. "I feel I made up for the sins I committed in this war."

Anderson, of Lexington, returned to the United States from Canada on Saturday. He could face a charge of desertion.

Attorney Jim Fennerty of Chicago said Anderson will be interviewed by military investigators, given a uniform and assigned to a barracks while his case is processed. In three to five days, he will be given a discharge of other than honorable. At that point, he should be free from his military commitment and face no other charges, Fennerty said.

Did the lawyer just say "discharge of other than honorable"? That's just great. I'm sure every veteran will be rolling in their grave after this happens. What ever happened to Duty, Honor, Loyalty, and Integrity? I believe that in WWII he would have been shot for this wouldn't he?

"He's not a criminal," Fennerty said.

Sorry Jim, under UCMJ he IS a criminal - it's the law, you're a lawyer, you should know that.

As Anderson left the news conference, World War II veteran Les Powers confronted, and shouted: "They should have shot you."

God bless Les Powers! Les, if you ever happen to read this - thank YOU for your honorable service and the sacrifice you and the Greatest Generation made for us all.

Powers said Anderson abandoned his military commitment and should face a court martial, not receive a deal that lets him out of the Army.

"He's a deserter. He's a coward," Powers said after Anderson was gone. "He should be given a dishonorable discharge."....

I couldn't agree more with Les on this one.

.... Anderson's mother, Anita Dennis, said the military failed in its responsibility to take care of her son after he returned from war. "They treated his physical wounds, but they left his emotional wounds untreated," Dennis said through tears.

I'm sorry ma'am, but I have to ask if he even went to an Army psychiatrist? How about the VA?

Anderson said he suffered from nightmares and was unable to get the treatment he needed by the time he was ordered to redeploy. He said he was able to get some treatment for emotional distress while in Canada.

So he apparently waited until he was in Canada to take care of that. Was it on his "to-do" list prior to his second deployment that he just never got to before deserting?

Anderson's Canadian wife, Gail Greer, said she supports her husband's decision.

"I'm really anxious and nervous, but he's definitely doing the right thing," Greer said. "I just hope people listen to what he has to say."

Did that really just say "Anderson's Canadian wife"? Yep it did. Is there a difference between a "Canadian Wife" and an "American Wife"? Does he have an American wife who left him for being a pussy but they never got divorced so now he's got 2 wives? If they're married, why didn't she take his name? Is the name Anderson too "American" for her? Just a few questions I have - I'm calling "Shenanigans" on the whole wife thing.

Anyway, that's the story that has to do with a shirt. I saw the picture of Anderson wearing that shirt and realized that I have that VERY SAME SHIRT!!! As a matter of fact, my big sister picked it out for me!

No here's where the story gets really weird....

About 3 days before this story broke in the news I brought that shirt along with a pair of ACUs and other clothes to the laundry mat. I might as well admit that I don't do my own laundry - the laundry mat does it for me and I wouldn't have it any other way. So they did my load of laundry and I apparently forgot to take a pen out of the pocket of my ACUs - I mean seriously, after 7 years of putting a pen on my chest by the top BDU button, how can I be expected to check my friggin sleeve? Anyway it exploded in the wash. There were only 2 things that got ink on them - a few, hardly noticeable, spots on my ACU pants AND that shirt got it ALL OVER! On a side note, I don't understand how the ACU top didn't get any ink on it but it didn't.

I think there are some cosmic forces at play here. How weird is it that that shirt - one of my favorite up to that point - got totally ruined 3 days before a deserter is photographed wearing it and the photo is spread all over the world?!

Somebody was telling me I shouldn't wear this shirt..... so I burned it in the parking lot of the Armory! I felt it needed to be burned in order to cleanse myself of the evil leftist forces it contained. Damn that felt good.

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Greatest Interview Ever

Today I honestly had the greatest interview ever. Let me tell you how I came to this interview:

I did a post-prom party at one of my high schools last year and this kid filled out a survey requesting more information. I tried to contact him but he didn't leave a phone number! I looked in every school list I had but I couldn't find him. He or anyone with his last name wasn't in the phone book and my usual places on the internet to find people didn't list him either. I had all given up on this kid until a local Guardsmember called me up and wanted to enlist this same kid through the Guard Recruiting Assistance Program, GRAP for short. I asked if he pre-qualled him and he said yes and he had taken the ASVAB through the school last year but didn't know his score - low and behold he scored a 53 - excellent! He ended up calling me and scheduling the interview on Friday at 1800.

Now on to the interview:

I had to drive about 40 minutes to this kid's house which was very surprisingly easy to find given he was out in the sticks. For once the maps on Google Maps were accurate for my area!

I get there and the kid's dad is doing some yard work and greets me and SGT D who is GRAPing him (I make all my RAs go to the interviews with me) with a hearty hand shake and a big smile. He invites us in out of the cold and offers us coffee. He tells us that his kid called and said that he was running late and asked if we could wait for him - of course we could.

We BSed with Mom and Dad for a while waiting for him to get there. Mom and Dad were really great people. Stark republican from what I could tell and very pro-military - I liked them already. I found out their other son is in the Navy but they were curious what the National Guard had to offer because they didn't know much about it.

The kid finally gets there (only 15 min late, can't complain about that too much) and I BS with him for a little bit. Eventually I start my presentation and all 3 of them listen to my every word with great interest. All 3 of them would wait till I asked if they had any questions and ask very good questions dealing with what I just talked about instead of going off subject. At the end I asked if they had any more questions that we didn't cover and they had a few - again all very good questions. These people had obviously done their research!

I asked them what they though and the kid says "Man, that sounds good!" and his dad chips in, "Man, that does sound good. If I were young enough I'd do it! What is the maximum age anyway?"

"42 years old. You just have to ship to basic training before your 43rd birthday."

"Wow" he replies, "I turn 42 tomorrow!"

I wish you could have seen me smile on the inside.

"There ya go! You're eligible too!"

"I might have to seriously think about this here... "

"But Dad, you'll have to cut your hair!" says the kid. We all laughed at that one.

Then the Dad, says something amazing, "It's only one small sacrifice for my country..."

Then there was a long silence where everyone pondered what he just said. I won't call it an "odd" silence, just a silence of pondering.

"So you said your brother is in Iraq. Tell me about that." the mom said.

And for the next hour and a half we just chatted about my brother in Iraq, SGT D's experience in Afghanistan, and the Global War on Terror in general.

It was by far the greatest conversation I've had with a group of people in the last 2 months. What was really interesting is that they told me they can't stand to watch the news any more. They explained that all they hear about as far as war coverage is all negative and they know that it's not the truth about what's going on over there. They spent a lot of that hour and a half picking my brain about what's going on with our troops and giving me their opinion - one of which was only of support for the troops and support of their mission. Like I said, a great conversation. I really like this kid and his folks. They're just your typical American family trying their best to live the American Dream.

Eventually SGT D went out for a smoke with mom and I realized it was time we get going as it was almost 2100. As I was leaving the kid and his dad walked me to the door and gave a heartfelt thanks for our time. I thanked them in return. They told us to call back on Sunday to see if he's ready to join or not, they just wanted a day or 2 to think about it. Right before I walked out the door the dad said he was serious about him thinking about joining too. I told him that's great and if he does it'll be a decision he wouldn't regret.

SGT D got in the car with me and I asked what he and the mom talked about.

"You'll never believe this! She said that somebody would be stupid to not join if they could - including her. She's not 42 yet and the idea sounds better by the minute!"

So here I am, still giddy after the greatest interview I've ever had with thought of being the guy who enlisted a kid and his parents all at the same time. I bet it'd be cool to bring them all to MEPS at the same time!

I'm sure I'm jinxing myself at this point and none of them will end up enlisting - but I can dream can't I?

-SGT Guardsman

Must Buy Footballs!

I found this picture not that long ago and every time I look at it I get a strange urge to get more footballs from MissionZone.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

-SGT Guardsman

Enlistment & Alcohol

Mark up another victory for SGT Guardsman vs. MEPS! As I said before, the waiver for my girl who went down earlier this month was approved and she finally enlisted on Friday! She was very excited when she enlisted and can't wait for next drill. It is always amazing to see this transformation every recruit goes through.

When they go down to MEPS they're all really nervous, and rightly so! They are making a HUGE step in life and there is a lot of unknown that they're about to go through. I feel as though I brief my applicants very well on what happens at MEPS. However it doesn't matter how much I explain it because it is an experience that they've never had before so they're still nervous about what to expect. On the car ride down there every applicant acts different - some are quiet and closed off, others nervously talk my ear off about anything and everything. But no matter how they act on the way down, the second they go through that swear-in ceremony they act completely differently. They're ecstatic! They can't wait till their first drill, they want their first uniform right that second, and they can't wait to go home and tell everyone they know they just enlisted in the Army National Guard! That change and their attitude puts a good feeling in my heart every time.....

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SFC B recently talked about Draggin and how depressing recruiting can become. All I can say is that I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I too have felt the loneliness that is recruiting. I too have felt that my life is nothing but recruiting. I think it is something that every recruiter goes through - and it's amazing the things we find ourselves doing. At one point I had to go see a chiropractor (which TriCare doesn't pay for) and I chose one solely because his son wanted to join the Guard and his parents wouldn't sign the PC. At times it seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But getting past this is something every recruiter has to do because it will end up destroying you.

I've seen recruiter's marriages go bad because of the job. I've seen recruiter's health go bad because of the hours they work. I've seen seasoned veterans break down and cry because of the pressure of this job. And, worst of all, I've seen recruiter's lives go down the drain because they "nurtured" themselves through all this with the bottle. I realize now that at one point I fell victim to that game.

Many people who know me will be surprised about what I'm about to write - sorry if something is shocking but I feel I should exercise theses demons.

When I became a recruiter I moved to a pretty small town in northwestern Minnesota. I moved up here with no family and no friends ready to do my part in building the greatest fighting force this world has ever known. Having nothing else to do, I worked. Days became weeks, weeks became months, and it started to wear on me. I lived and breathed recruiting 24 hours a day. I tried to help myself by going and visiting my family more often. Surprisingly this only made me more depressed. It made me depressed because I saw everyone's lives moving on while mine was stuck in the stalemate of recruiting. They would talk about their friends, the latest funny thing that their kids did, the vacation they just took, last week's softball games (I'm talking about you Troy), the movie they went to with their other half, and all the other every day things people talk about. I, on the other hand, had only work to talk about. By July 2005, not even 1 full year into my initial tour, I had been driven to the breaking point. I hated my life, my command was driving me insane, and could tell it was only getting worse.

I submitted my resignation letter, wanting to go back to being a one-weekend-a-month soldier and go back to college. I was ahead of mission at the time so this really through my command through a loop. I had many meetings with the powers that be and was told that my resignation would be accepted. On almost my 1 year anniversary I met with my battalion commander and was told I could not resign. We talked a lot about some of the problems I was having. Some advice was given, some promises were made, and I was ordered to go talk to the Chaplin. Talk to the Chaplin I did, but that did not seem to help much either. Since nothing else I started to drink heavily to help with my sorrows.

I tried to be a responsible person and be very professional every day and quickly settled into a routine with my drinking. Monday through Friday was work time. That's what I focused on from 8am Monday to about 5pm Friday. I knew I needed to have my "A game" every day and couldn't do that trying to sober up every morning. The weekends and MEPS trips were a different story however.

When I went to MEPS that was my time to not worry about the pressures of recruiting. I had done the hard part already and now the fate of the applicant was out of my hands and in the hands of the MEPS doctor. That was my time to party and forget about recruiting for several hours. And boy did I party! There are many MEPS trips where I don't remember anything after checking into my hotel to the time I checked out of my hotel. There were the times down there where I completely embarrassed myself and disgraced the service I've dedicated my life to. There were the times where I couldn't believe the things I did (Hell... I've got time for that - a joke only my family would understand. Not my proudest moment I might ad). I still remember the times when I had to pick something up at my HQ, trying to sneak in and out without talking to my team commander or sergeant major so they wouldn't smell the booze on me. I still remember not going into MEPS till I had to so the MEPS guidance counselors wouldn't smell me either. All that so I could have a night of "fun" only to feel even worse the next morning.

The weekends were very similar to my MEPS trips at this point. I would go out every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights to have more time to swallow my sorrows away. Sometimes I'd be smart and walk home, sometimes I wouldn't. As with the MEPS trips I still remember all the times I embarrassed myself after finding out what I did the night before. I still remember not going to drill till noon so I would be sober and not smell of booze and cigarettes. This was all a never ending cycle till one fateful night.

December 18th, 2005 I was at the VFW as I usually am on Sunday nights. I was having a good time with the few acquaintances I'd made in my town when the bar closed down. I thought I was good to drive and started the 4 block journey home. As I pulled in my driveway I saw the cherries light up behind me. The state trooper asked me how much I had to drink and I told him I thought I only had 4 drinks since 9:30pm (It was now about 2am on December 19th). He asked me to step out of my vehicle and did some field sobriety tests. Next came the breathalyzer. .082% is what he told me I blew - the legal limit is .08%. Thinking back to that night I can still feel my heart skip a beat as I heard him say those words. I told him it was my fault and was ready to go to jail for the night. He told me that since I was already home he'd give me a break this time - but it better not happen again. As lucky as I was, that night changed my life forever.

I literally did not sleep for the next 2 days, nor did I do much of anything else. I turned off the cell phone and laid in bed thinking - for at least 48 hours straight. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep. I cried a lot and beat myself up a lot. I looked at what drinking had brought me - nothing but embarrassment and sorrow. I looked at what drinking could have cost me - everything.

I knew that if I had gotten that DWI I would have lost my job as I would have lost my license. If I had lost my job, I would have been discharged - ruining me financially and making college all but impossible. I knew that if I had gotten that DWI I could have never looked my family in the face again. After all the preaching I had done in years past about alcohol, going and getting a DWI would have been so hypocritical and I didn't think my family would ever respect me again. In my eyes, I would have been the family disgrace, the black sheep that nobody wants to admit that they're related to, the one that destroyed the family name.

I decided at that point that I needed to stop drinking except the rare special occasion like weddings or family reunions. I've made some major changes in my life, allowing for a lot more "me" time and cutting down on some of the "work" time. I learned that this job will eat you alive if you let it. It's important that you do something for you every day, however so small. At the same time I see that it is important for you to do something with your wife or girlfriend every day lest you want the relationship to go sour. I haven't been without my falls either.

The first time I drank since December 19th, 2005 was May 3rd, 2006. That was the worst night I've ever had in my life - the night alcohol made me crazy. That was the night I told a few of my team mates that I wanted to sell my soul to the devil because God has done nothing for me and probably hates me - and I hated him back. That was the night I told my NCOIC that I was a shitty NCO and didn't deserve to be in the Army. That was the night that I told my SGM that he should do the Army a favor and reach across the table and choke me to death. That was the night that I told my SGM that I am worried I will kill myself. That was the night I got kicked out of 4 bars in a town of nothing but bars because I was too drunk. That was the night my team mates lost me and my SGM had to call the local detox centers and jails to see if I was there the next morning. The next morning was the morning that my team commander told me I looked "like walking death" - I'm always the guy who always has the best looking uniform and had the shiniest boots and that is always reflected on my NCOERs. That next morning was the most embarrassing morning in my life after I had found out all the things I had said and done the night before. The day after that was the day that I had to explain to my NCOIC and my SGM that I wasn't going to kill myself and was not sure where all this had come from, I had to explain that I was seriously temporarily crazy. The day after that was the day the BN Chaplin called and wanted to talk about me wanting to sell my soul and my apparent hatred for God. That was the day I first realized that maybe I just shouldn't drink at all.

I fell off the wagon once more at my family reunion and embarrassed myself even more - all but putting the final nail in the coffin of my drinking. The next and last time I ever drank after that was the one beer I had at my cousin's wedding in September - I felt like crap after I had that beer and haven't ever drank after that.

It was a rough road to go down but I'm glad I've come to this point in my life. The hardest part is my friends back home and other people who just don't understand that I don't drink any more. Why people can't accept this I don't know. I really don't want to hear "Come on.... just one won't hurt you" or "This isn't the SGT Guardsman I know, just have one drink with me" anymore. I'm to the point where I can comfortably go to the bar and drink pop and not feel the need to have a drink any more.

Looking back, I realize that I was pretty much an alcoholic. Not something I'm proud of, but hopefully somebody can learn from my mistakes and make better life choices than I did. Through all of this I've learned a lot about myself and a lot about life. I obviously learned that drinking will not solve any problems in the long run, it'll only make your problems worse. In the end, I think I'm a better soldier and NCO because of all this. And, most importantly, I think I'm a better person because of all this. Finally, while writing this I realized something that I can honestly say that I AM proud of is my sobriety.

-SGT Guardsman

Rednecks, Lebanon, and Geography

Sorry for the delay in new posts, I've just been busy trying to find SOMEBODY to join the Guard. Apparently MEPS still can't hold me down because my girl that was DQed had her waiver approved today! I was very excited when I heard that. She'll be going to MEPS on Friday - now I just have to find 2 more people to enlist....

Rednecks

Over the weekend I went out with a few of my friends in town, one who is a DJ. He had a gig in a bar that is out in the middle of nowhere but told me I'd have a great time. I drove out there expecting to have a good time with my friends - I was never prepared for what awaited me when I walked into the bar on that fateful night.....

Rednecks, lots and lots of rednecks. Seriously, I was the ONLY one in the bar, with the exception of my DJ friend, who wasn't wearing some form of hunting camouflage. There was this really annoying guy who couldn't dance wearing some weird cammo pants and a bright blue shirt with it! When you looked at their clothes, then you looked at my clothes, it was very easy to tell that I was NOT one of them. They apparently noticed too.

After I said hi to my friend, I decided to go get myself a 'Dew from the bar. I walked up there and suddenly there were 4 kids aged 12 to 15 blocking my way. First I thought it was weird that these kids were in the bar in the first place. I mean seriously, it's 10 at night, you shouldn't be in a bar! So these kids are blocking my way and I politely say "Excuse me boys". All they did was simultaneously put their spitters to their mouths and sloppily spit into them and gave me a look of "Who do you think you are.... City Boy!" (Say that in your best redneck accent). These kids, I swear, had about half a tin of chew in their mouths EACH! They didn't move and I was seriously concerned that these kids were going to start some trouble - then one of their Dad's stepped in.

It was funny actually. He slapped one in the back of the head and said, "Damn-it boys! Get out of this gentleman's way!" (again, with the accent). I thanked him and got my 'Dew. The father of the boys asked me why I didn't get a "real drink". I explained that I didn't drink and he said, "Never trust a man who doesn't drink, that's what my daddy always told me." Then he turned his back to me. I was a little disappointed because I was hoping that he'd be my ambassador to the other rednecks in the place.

Needless to say, I felt a little out of place the whole night, but in the end had a good time. After they all got a few good drinks in them, they didn't seem to mind. The only other time I thought there was going to be trouble was when I was dancing with some girls, and some guys sporting the usual Carhart jackets stepped in and totally pushed me away from the girls. I got the point and sat down. There were a few fights that night - every time one started somebody grabbed them and pushed them outside - eventually both of them would come limping back in and get even more drunk....

Lebanon

I was going through my traffic reports the other day and was curious to see where the people who visit my blog live. Take a look of this screen shot:

The 38 people from England kind of surprised me, but then again I talked a lot about the foiled terror plot over there so that made sense after all.

Why the 3 people from Alberta Canada have been visiting me I don't know, maybe it's because of my LTC White video.....

1 person from Australia! That was kind of cool to see - no idea why they're visiting but I'll pretend it's one of the Australian soldiers I trained with in Hawaii one year.

Now the weird one - Beyrouth LEBANON!!!!! Is Hezbollah looking at my blog trying to gain intel?! Did I talk about a relative of theirs when I talked about foiled terror plots or the 11 Egyptian students who went missing a few months ago? Am I an inspiration to the Lebanese - showing them the true value of Freedom, Democracy, and Freedom of Speech? Or am I helping fuel the flames of international jihad? Maybe they're looking at my blog saying "Look, they hate us because we're Middle Eastern. We must kill them before they kill us...."

What's my point in all this? This I am trying to show all the other Milbloggers out there that the enemy IS looking at your blog. Any opsec you put into your blog WILL fall into enemy hands. I know you want your mom to know what's going on - but you have to be careful of what you put on the internet. Everybody else can see it and that means the terrorists too! You must know that the lives of your brothers and sisters in arms lies in YOUR words - do you want to live the rest of your life knowing that somebody died because of something you put on a blog???

On a side note, I looked at my traffic today and noticed some new countries looking at my blog. 1st I noticed that I've had two hits from Ireland. I can only assume that it is my good friend Mark and his girlfriend Denise - Welcome to my blog!!! 2nd I noticed somebody from Greece visited my blog. Welcome to you too! And 3rd, I noticed that one of my visitors from Alberta Canada returned - I apparently I have a few more readers now..... Is my count up to 7?

Geography

Not to long ago I was driving to the northern part of my area to deliver school supplies when I passed something that I didn't know about. I passed the Laurentian Divide. I had no idea what this thing was so I knew I would do some research on it when I got home. I learned that this is the place in Minnesota where the rivers start flowing north! I remembered something about this from when I was in grade school - but this couldn't be so close to home could it?

A week later I had some privates making up drill and we were just BSing when I brought up the Laurentian Divide - they had no idea what I was talking about. I didn't think it was possible for somebody to live this close to an amazing piece of geography and not know what it was, let alone never visit it. So I did what anyone would do - I grabbed 4 MREs, put them in the car and took a trip up there for lunch.

It was kind of neat for me, but at the same time disappointing. It was neat for me because I'm a nerd and was amazed that this was abut 30-45 min away from my office. Who knew that so much great American geography is so close - I mean the Mississippi River is all but a few blocks from my office, and the Laurentian Divide is not much further away. It was disappointing in the fact that there are no rivers at the Laurentian Divide! Basically it's what's left of a 16,000-year-old mountain range - anything water that falls on the north side flows to the north to Hudson Bay, anything that falls on the south side flows to the south to the Gulf of Mexico via the Mississippi.

Here's what I found on the web about it:

Glaciers - mammoth, moving, prehistoric sheets of ice one mile thick - crossed through what is now Minnesota at least four times. A huge sheet of ice known as the Wisconsin Glacier covered much of Minnesota 16,000 years ago. What was once a mountain range eroded, creating hills and thousands of waterways.

On the north side of this site, the divide directs the waters to empty into Hudson Bay and on to the Arctic Ocean. On the south, water flows into the Mississippi River and eventually into the Gulf of Mexico. In other words, two drops of rain, each one falling to opposite sides, will end up on opposite sides of the North American continent.

A few pictures for you:
This one is from the web

This one I took with my cell phone - I really need to buy a digital camera!

In the end it was a really good trip in my opinion. I thought it was neat to see the divide and it was a really good opportunity to talk with my soldiers and catch up with what's going on in their lives - that is something I wish I had the opportunity to do a little more.

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Well, that's it for now - I would also like to welcome my Mom to my blog - HI MOM! She and many other family members have probably seen my blog by the time I've written this... Welcome all - sorry for a lot of the swearing in my posts, I'll try and swear less from now on now that I know my mom is reading....

-Guardsman

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

The other day I was in Wal-Mart buying Thank You For Smoking on DVD as well as a couple of other movies when this family walked past me. After they were past me this little girl, probably about 4 years old, stops, points at me and says extremely loudly "Look Mommy! He's still in his pajamas!" We all had a good laugh at that one - I've never heard that one before. I walked over to her as her mom was apologizing to me, crouched down and said "These aren't my pajamas! This is my uniform. It's the uniform of an American Soldier." and her mom responded "He and many other men work hard every day to keep you, and your brothers and sisters safe from really bad people". Suddenly the little girl's face went to a deeply concerned look - then very quickly turned to a very happy face. I was still crouching when she lunged forward at me and gave me a great big hug and said "Thank you very much mister!" I hugged her back and said your welcome and stood up stunned. Her mom politely said "I'm sorry about that." The only thing I could reply with was, "No, no need to apologize. Your daughter just made my day - probably my whole week too. Thank YOU!"

-Guardsman

The Bane of My Existence

There are two things that are going to drive me to the loony bin. #1 is MEPS. #2 is Defense Travel System.

#1. Back in late June, one of my soldiers told me to come to the school as he had a girl who was interested in the Guard and he wanted to GRAP (Guard Recruiting Assistance Program) her. I went there and interviewed her to find that she was ready to join right now, but only 16. I told her I'd call her around her 17th birthday but to talk to her parents about it in the mean time. Her 17th birthday came and went and I could not seem to get a hold of her. Finally my soldier gets back from Basic Training and starts school again and finds that she's still interested. I FINALLY get to meet her parents and they sign the PC and we're ready to go to MEPS. The only thing I was worried about was her weight - she was about 3 pounds heavy than her max allowed weight. I held MEPS off a week and told her to work out and watch what she eats. She did, she went and ran on a treadmill at the school before school started every day for that week. Before leaving for MEPS I threw her on the scale and she remained the exact same weight. I figured she'd make body fat so out the door we went....

Permanently disqualified - recommend waiver. Wouldn't you guess it she made weight, but she's DQed for friggin "excessive scaring" in her ear - from Tubes when she was a child. Can she hear just fine? Yep, that checked out OK. Why the fuck does some scaring from tubes in her ears from 10 years ago matter?!

I used to be the lucky guy when it comes to MEPS. But out of my last 3 applicants, 2 have been DQed at MEPS! And all for STUPID reasons!

Why does MEPS have to be like this?!

Oh well, I'll submit the waiver to NGB next week when her drug test results come back and she'll enlist by the end of the month - hopefully.

#2. Defense Travel System is the new online system where you request travel orders and submit travel vouchers. It's all done online now, not on paper. Anybody who has used this website will agree with me that it's the most worthless POS ever created. First off, it's slower than old people fucking. When I say it's slow, I mean it's slow - like 14kbps modem slow! So when you FINALLY get it to load you have to stumble your way through requesting travel orders. Again, it takes forever to do this as well because there's 100 different pages to go through and each one takes forever to load. About every three pages you'll click the "Next" button and you'll get a nice screen saying "page cannot be displayed" - so you have to go back and start that page all over. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't so damn confusing! Nothing is in the right order and it was made by somebody with intimate knowledge of travel orders but no common sense. To give you all an idea of how "user friendly" this website is, check out SC's post on AKO.

So I still need 3 to finish Oct and I have nothing. I don't even really have anything solid right now. I've got a couple of PS people ready for next month, but that doesn't help me! I need shit THIS month. With some hard work and riding my soldiers for leads, I'm sure it will pan out. Hell, I've got them ALL WEEKEND this weekend - I'm sure they'll give me someone.

-Guardsman