Thoughts While Waiting

Sometimes it is hard to believe that a month has gone by so quickly. I look back at the last time I posted and think it feels like yesterday. In all honesty I really don't have all that much to report about my time here at North Fort Hood. Everything that we did seemed to all drag into 1 long day. Of course there was always waiting in line, the Army will always have a lot of that going on. But we did do some really good training. As we've gone from range-to-range they've been making the training more realistic and integrating the training we've had before to better prepare us for our mission over in Iraq. Some of the ranges are boring - like the IED defeat range as it was very repetitive. Other ranges were exciting - such as the Urban Operations range where we have to practice fighting in close quarters in city streets. Eventually ranges turned into exercises that help to prepare us for what we'll be doing over there. The mission that I think I had the most fun with was the mission I was in charge of.

The scenario was that there was a helicopter crash and we had to go rescue the pilots and recover the black box. I received my briefings and looked at the intelligence reports to know what to expect and briefed the platoon to prepare them for the task ahead and explain my plan to them. We set out to find the crash site and save the pilots. Finding the crash site was easy (they actually had something burning so we could just drive to the smoke) and we quickly secured the crash site. I had a team run to recover the black box and a team of medics looking for the pilots as soon as the site was secure. One of the issues was that the media had showed up and were getting in the way of myself and the other soldiers doing their jobs. I had to work with the Kuwaiti police that were on scene and get them to detain the media crew so we could work. Things seemed to be going good until the medics told me there were no pilots at the crash site! I started asking the police officer if he knew what happened to the pilots and he informed me that some local villagers had seen the crash and come to the aid of the pilots. In helping them, the villagers brought them to their villi age. The police officer gave me directions to the village and I thanked him for his help. I had my platoon load back up and drive over to the village to find the pilots, leaving two gun trucks at the crash site to continue to secure it.

Once we arrived at the village I dismounted with some other soldiers for security so I could talk to the village elder and find out any information about the pilots. I was greeted by a woman who spoke English and she volunteered to be my translator. I asked her to bring me to the village elder and she said that the sheik would be happy to see me and she would bring me to his home. I was surprised that the sheik was actually speaking Arabic since this was training after all - this made it all the more realistic. When I greeted the sheik he started yelling at me! Apparently what I thought was a parking lot was actually the village's fields and we'd just ruined a lot of their crops. After much apologizing and rushing to get the vehicles moved the sheik agreed to meet with me. He explained that the pilots were there but before he would let me see them, he wanted to talk about how the United States could help his village. He explained that his village was very short on medical supplies and he was becoming frustrated why his friends, the United States, wouldn't help him. I promised that if he gave me a list of supplies he needs I would give it to my superiors so they could see what they could do for him. This was good enough for the shek and he took me to the pilots. After that the medics did their job, and I had two gun trucks rush the pilots back to the FOB for medical treatment. Thanking the sheik, and apologizing again for destroying their crops, we departed the village to finish recovering the downed chopper. While the intel reports said everything was safe, we all kept our heads on a swivel just in case something happened. Fortunately nothing did actually happen and we were soon within the safety of our FOB and done with the mission. All-in-all it was really good training and a lot of fun. Talking to the villagers through the translator was different but a very good experience.

Shortly after that exercise I was given the opportunity to do some classified training that only 3 people per company get to do. I can't go into details, it was classified after all, but it was probably the best training I had here. About all I can tell you is that I was training on a weapons system that is installed on every HMMWV and MRAP in country. This weapons system isn't a weapon that kills people, but a weapon that saves lives. It is cutting edge technology so it was really interesting training for me.

In the end the days were filled with more ranges, more waiting in line, more shots, and more paperwork. It mostly seemed to all drag into 1 long day with the exception of 2 weeks where I was at a school with no internet access (hence, the month since I have last posted). The time just flew by quickly. But that is what I see when I look at what I've been doing in the last month. Looking at what's gone on back home brings a different view however.

Eventually we had finished all the ranges and exercises except one - the MRE or Mobilization Readiness Exercise. This is the mother of all exercises where they simulate for 2 weeks everything everybody in the entire Brigade will be doing over in Iraq or Kuwait. We were lucky enough to get a few days of down-time before we started the MRE. While all the training was going on, my unit had been trying to get me to a school so I can get promoted but had told me a few days before the start of the course that they couldn't get me in. Well.... at 9pm my 1SG came to me and informed me that I would be going to the school, at 6:30am the next morning. So while all my fellow soldiers were getting ready for a much needed trip to the lake the next day, I was packing to go to Warrior Leader Course. I won't go into the details about the course because it was pretty much a waste of my time but I'm glad I got that done and over with. Why am I glad? Because now I can FINALLY get promoted for real!!! I have no idea when I'll actually get promoted but its only a matter of time.

Just a few days ago we were given a 4 day pass to go home or wherever with our families. I was fortunate enough to have most of my family come down to Texas to visit me. I could have gone home but I figured that it'd be better to have them take time off from work to meet me down here rather then spend 2 of my 4 days traveling. My parents, my oldest brother with his girlfriend, my sister-in-law and my nieces, and my "son" all came down to see me. While they were traveling I was getting things packed and getting my rental car so I could drive to see them. I had to temporally give Hertz my manhood because all they had was a Toyota Prius, but a car was a car and nothing was going to stop me from seeing them. The reunion was such a huge relief for me and it felt so good to see them, and hold all my loved ones in my arms again. We went to San Antonio for the 4 days and stayed fairly busy; I won't go into detail because some memories I just need to keep to myself. Maybe after a while I'll go into more detail and post some pictures. It was so good to see them I wished it would never end, but eventually it had to come to an end and after saying goodbye, I had to drive alone back to Fort Hood.

After we got back we actually had very few things to do. Most of it was pack and clean (and get screened for Swine Flu oddly enough) so we have had a lot of down-time since then. I think the main problem is that right now is that I have far too much time on my hands to think.I start to think and I look back at the last month, there isn't much that I have done. Like I said, everything seemed to drag into 1 long day. But now that I have the time I can look at what's going on back home. It has only been 2 and a half months since I've left home yet so much has gone on in such a short period of time. Summer has started and my family has started the "family-cabin-Sunday" ritual, my oldest brother has started a family with the baby due in January, my cousin got married, my sister and her fiancee have had their respective parties and the wedding is around the corner, my godson has started walking, and finally my "son" has turned 15, got his permit, finished a year of school, started and finished an entire season of Lacrosse, and started his first job! When I think about all that has gone on since I left it seems like I've been gone forever. As I think about this I think about all the things I'm going to miss over the next 10 months as I'm in Iraq and Kuwait. Thinking about it all it makes me miss my family even though I just saw them a few short days ago.

While waiting to be told to get on the plane I have been trying to keep myself busy though. I've watched a few movies and even filled up an entire 500gb external hard drive with them! Quickly people figured out that I am very good with computers and a lot of people were having me help them with various issues they were having. Some people's computers were full of viruses, others just couldn't play the movies they've acquired. It appeared that EVERYBODY went out and bought an iPod of some sort and were having issues getting music and movies on there so I get it all working for them. We've also been lucky enough to get to go off post to get to Best Buy, Walmart and various places and just find things to keep us busy.

As I write this my bags are packed and I still sit here waiting. Waiting to get on the plane, waiting to just actually do something. Eventually they will come in and tell us to grab our bags as it's time to go and I will start the 18-hour journey across the globe. Until then I'll just watch some movies and try to keep my mind off home. The next time I write to all three of the people who read this blog, I'll be in Kuwait, sweating my balls off. Until then... take care and thank you to everyone for your support, especially the Moe's

-Guardsman

A Different Kind of Memorial Day

Memorial Day usually means a lot of things to a lot of different people. For many in our neck of the woods, Memorial Day weekend is the beginning of the summer. It is the weekend where we all go and open up our cabins for the first time of the summer. We gripe and complain at how cold the water is when we get in to put our dock in. We relish the feel of the fresh wind blowing across our face as our boat or jet ski skips across the water for the first time in almost a year. For others it is a weekend of barbecues, backyard sports, and spending time with friends and family. A few patriotic citizens will go downtown and enjoy a Memorial Day parade, while others will take things more to heart and attend a Memorial Day service at the local cemetery. Most will never take a chance to think about what Memorial Day really means.

Growing up my parents usually took me to a parade on Memorial Day, and then spent the rest of the day at the family cabin. My parents tried to teach me what Memorial Day was all about but it never quite took. As I grew older I began to participate in the parades with my high school marching band, never really fully understanding who or what I was honoring. Even when I joined the Guard and began to march in the parades with my unit I still didn't fully understand what Memorial Day was all about. Now, as sit in the barracks thousands of miles away from home reflecting on the last several years of my life, I think I finally understand.

I sit here writing this and realize how truly lucky I am to be an American. I know how fortunate I am to have had the privilege to grow up within these borders. You do not know the sacrifices the country has been built upon until you have lived them and experienced them. I have finally seen first hand the freedoms those in uniform give up to protect those we love. I haven't watched TV in god knows how long. I never get to choose what or when I will eat. I don't get to see or talk to my family whenever I want. I will not complete college on time. I live in a room with 30 other men, sharing 3 urinals, 4 toilets, 6 sinks, and 6 showers. I wake up early in the morning and work till too late into the night. Computers and video games are all memories of what almost seems like a past life. All the comforts of home I have taken for granted of for so long are a thing of the past. I tell you this not to complain. I am happy to sacrifice so those that love and ensure that they live free, that they themselves do not have to sacrifice. I tell you this because I think of all that I have sacrificed since being deployed and can only imagine how bad my brothers-in-arms before me had it. I cannot fathom being away from my family for 4 years fighting in lands halfway across the world. This, I now know, is only part of what Memorial Day is all about.

This morning I was doing PT and started thinking about how in a few hours my family will be arriving at the cabin to spend the day together. I thought about all the volleyball games I will miss with all my cousins. I thought about all the great food I won't be eating (especially Auntie Debby's cheese dip). I thought about not being able to play with my nieces and all the other kids in the freezing cold water. These thoughts stayed with me as I washed the sweat off my body and began preparing for today's training. Suddenly I found myself staring at the dog tag I keep tucked in the laces of my right boot. Staring at that dog tag I thought about my friend CW3 Phil Windorski. Phil made the ultimate sacrifice for our country on January 26th, 2009 when his OH-58D Kiowa was shot down over Iraq. I reached to hand a fellow soldier some papers and noticed, for the first time, the black bracelet on his right wrist. Inscribed on the bracelet were the names of 3 soldiers he served with who lost their lives when an IED exploded. I sat down at another fellow soldier's computer and stared at the picture of his cousin who gave his life in Afghanistan. It was then that the full picture came to me. I thought about how Phil and thousands of other soldiers will never again see their families again. I thought about the unknown number of children who will never have their father or mother around. I thought about countless wives and husbands who will always have an empty bed greeting the at the end of a long day. I thought about the parents who had to live through the pain of having outlived their children. It was then that I knew what Memorial Day was all about.

Memorial Day is more than a long weekend at the beginning of summer. It is more than opening the cabin and having a barbecue. It is about the sacrifice that millions of American have made to build this country up from nothing. It is about the time away from home, the freedoms they willingly give up, and about the lives they have given for us all. Memorial Day is about remembering and honoring those that have served this greatest of nations. Memorial Day is about honoring and recognizing those who continue to serve her today.

Celebrating Memorial Day doesn't have to change. We all will still go and gather at our respective places to have a barbecue. We will all still play backyard games with our friends and families. Many will still attend Memorial Day parades. Too few will attend a Memorial Day service. No matter how you celebrate Memorial Day, never forget why you're celebrating. Never forget the soldiers, sailors, marines, airmen, and coast guardsmen who have made all this possible. Take a moment or two to silently give thanks.

For me, this Memorial Day is different. I will not be at the cabin with my family. Instead I will be training to go to war and defend this country I love so much. While they gather around the picnic tables for lunch, I'll be sitting in a hot HMMWV focusing not on where I want to be, but the task at hand. And while I prepare for this daunting task ahead, I will never forget those who have served before me, nor those who have made the ultimate sacrifice. And while I remember, I also pray that my soldiers and my comrades don't have to make the sacrifice as well.

-Guardsman

A Month Gone

I can't believe that its been a month since I have written on my blog! It is very surprising that we have been gone for over a month.

Most of what we've been doing is training, training, and more training. This is what I was expecting when we arrived on Fort Hood. For a while, all we did was range after range. I never thought I would get sick of ranges, but I actually have. I guess the problem is that with the way they were doing these ranges, you're out there for about 24 hours on each range. In all, it was great to be able to fire so many different weapons. The most interesting night was the night I was the NCOIC of the .50 cal range for our company. It is amazing how many things can go wrong in such a short period of time! It is also amazing how quickly I was able to get things fixed!

Some of the other training we've been doing is more interesting things like Reflexive Fire and Room clearing to get us ready for our Urban Operations training. For the last several days we've been doing a lot of IED training and really focusing on how to spot and react to IEDs. In all, I believe this is probably the most important training we have had so far. The best part of the IED training, for me, was when we had to hook up with some Iraqi Army guys, pick up an interpreter, and walk to an Iraqi village to talk to the local sheik. We drove into the Iraqi Army area and found out we had to walk into the village. I was surprised that the guys from the Iraqi Army were actually from Iraq! When we arrived in the village, about 85% of the villagers were also Iraqi. It was a strange feeling to hear all these people speaking Arabic. I kept damning myself for not taking the Rosetta Stone course on Arabic so I could understand them. I was charged with pulling security with the Iraqi Army guys while our NCOIC talked to the sheik. I couldn't speak much Arabic so I really needed the Iraqi Army guys to help me keep these people away! Eventually I thought I spotted somebody with a suicide vest on so I was investigating that with an IA soldier. Turns out that guy was the decoy, while I was figuring things out with him, the real suicide bomber was getting ready. I shot the suicide bomber a few times but he was still able to blow us all up..... I died. Actually I died 3 times that day, but its a long story. I really had a lot of fun, and I'm glad I was able to have that experience.

Yesterday, after I got back from running around in all my gear all day I was told I had to go to an emergency meeting. I was told that if I wanted to re-enlist, that I had to do so within an hour and a half. To top it off I had to take a PT test before I could re-enlist! I was sore and tired, hadn't eaten in over 10 hours, and it was 90+ degrees out! I didn't want to do it, but if I didn't re-enlist right then, I would have lost $15,000.... so I took a PT test. I passed but felt like dying in the process.

That's all there is to report right now, I think I would get into more details about things if I wouldn't wait a month between posts... but we get busy and I tend to forget about things.

Talk to you all soon

-Guardsman

Waiting in Line

My first week here at our MOB site can be summed up with simply "Waiting in Line". That's all we've really done so far. We arrived, stepped off the plane, and got in line to get checked into Ft. Hood. After that we got in line to take our seats for a briefing. After the briefing we got in another line to pee in a cup (gotta love piss tests!). After that we boarded some buses and then got in another line to get our teeth looked at. Finally, after being cleared from the dentist, we were brought to our barracks and allowed to start unpacking.

The next week was a series of more lines. First we had to go to the SRP where you stand in line after line and see medical people, the ID card people, and people who deal with pay. The longest part of SRP is the medical floor. At medical you have to make sure all your shots are up to date, including anthrax, typhoid, and smallpox. After they stick several needles in your skin you're sore but off to complete the rest of the SRP. Other days we stood in line to get different equipment. The best piece of equipment we received has got to be the Improved Outer Tactical Vest or IOTV. This is the replacement for the IBA. Instead of a big, clunky, uncomfortable piece of body armor, we get to wear the new, smaller, lighter, more comfortable vest!

There are always lines to wait in. Wait in line for chow, wait in line for the showers, wait in line to draw weapons. That's about all we do most days is wait in line. Several people have asked me what its like and I ask them to think about the longest line they've ever stood in... then do that all day every day. Soon we're going to start to go to more ranges and what not so hopefully things get a little more exciting. The only thing is that when you're at the ranges, there's always more lines to stand in...

Today, I am a SGT again. I didn't do anything wrong, they just pulled the gun on my promotion a little to early, soon I'll be a SSG again.... I'll let you know when that happens.

-Guardsman

The Journey Begins

Last night was my last night of "freedom" for the next year or so. Having already said goodbye to my family, I spent the night alone. I made sure my stuff was packed and that I wasn't forgetting anything. I watched some TV. I did a lot of thinking about the next year and how I'm going to take care of my soldiers. Finally I watched a bit of TV, the last TV I'll watch for about a year, while I chatted with some friends on Facebook. Eventually I drifted off into a restless sleep knowing that the next day was going to be long.

In the morning I woke up and arrived at the Armory early so I could make sure all my soldiers had everything they needed and talk to their families. I talked briefly with a few families but they obviously wanted to spend more time with their loved one in the last few minutes they had. I watched husbands kiss their wives. I saw sons say goodbye to their mothers while trying desperately to hold back the tears and be strong for her. I watched children cling to the legs of parents, begging them not to go. Mom or Dad had to be the strong one and look their child in the eye as they kissed them one more time and handed the crying child to another relative. This was the most emotional setting I've ever seen in my life and it allowed me to see more clearly the sacrifices we all make to serve this Greatest of Nations. It made me think of my mom, and think about the day I left for basic training and how much she cried then. It made me think of Nate and how badly I feel that I won't be there for Lacrosse, or Football , or anything else in this next year. It made me think of my beautiful nieces and how much they're going to change when I'm gone. It made me think of all the Cabin Sundays I'm going to miss this summer and how I won't be there to play volleyball with my siblings and cousins or watch the kids play in the water. It was the first time that the whole deployment seemed real.

We had formation, said one last quick goodbye, and boarded the buses for our journey to our MOB site. As we walked out of the Armory we were greeted by the Patriot Guard Riders lining the stairs and sidewalks going to the buses. As we pulled out, the families lined the parking lot waiving hundreds of American Flags, crying as the buses pulled onto the road and disappeared out of view. As we were escorted though town, hundreds of citizens lined the route to see us off, getting a glimpse of us as our police and fire escort zipped us through town all the way to the state line.

As we drove along I looked out the window with sadness at the rolling Minnesota countryside, knowing it will be a long time before I would step foot on this soil again. The wide open spaces of the farmland were far different from the hilly forest I am accustomed to up north, but it was still Minnesota soil so it really didn't matter. As I sat alone on the bus I began to think about my life back home and how much I am going to miss. I knew it was far to early to get homesick but I soon found myself listening to songs from American Idol I downloaded from iTunes. I imagined I was sitting in the Plex watching Idol with Troy, Joe, Tony, and Al. I replayed in my mind the thousands of times I'd listened to Tony and Joe make fun of whoever was singing and then arguing whether they were safe this week or not. I pictured Troy imitating the blind guy's face making Chelsea laugh uncontrollably. I laughed when I thought about the hundreds of times one of us asked Al about one of the girl's tits and imitated him in my head one of his canned responses.

As we drove further along I started to find things that would remind me more and more of home along the road. As the land got flatter, the memories started to fade. Desperately, I grasped each memory I could before the faded. I remembered all the times I'd driven up to Grand Rapids to pickup Nate and remembered all the good times we've had together. It made me sad that I wouldn't be able to see him for the next year, so in my memory I drove him home and went to the VFW to see my friends there. I constantly hit the next button on my iPod thinking of each one of them as I did so. Eventually my mind closed the VFW down and I thought about the long conversations in the car before I had to go home; but eventually did go home. As my mind drove me back home I pictured that intersection where a left and 7 miles brings me to another friend's house. Somehow my mind drove me there as well until I slowly drifted asleep. I awoke later to only see endless miles of farm land that in no way could remind me of home, but did bring back memories of driving to Iowa to see my sister at college and I wondered how her leg is feeling now. Slowly, all these things I was thinking about faded and I came back to reality.

Eventually we arrived at the airport and I was able to put my memories behind me and focus on the tasks that lie ahead of me. We boarded our plane to Texas and I ensured that all my soldiers were onboard and took my seat in first class next to a friend. As the plane took off we discussed various things about the deployment and what we should expect until he started to fall asleep. I was restless so I pulled out a school book and began to read it, starting on page 1. I had no idea how long we were flying for, but I can tell you it took 239 pages of my book to get to Texas. I can tell you it was different to land on the tarmac and be greeted by other soldiers ready to get us started on our training. The next several days will be nothing but briefings and shots and visits to the doctor and even picking up new equipment. It is kind of frustrating because I was looking forward to the training we're about to receive but I will have to wait a little longer to get my soldiers prepared for combat.

As I sit in my bunk at the MOB site I can tell you that I am even more excited for this deployment than I was before. I am looking forward to the new responsibility my new rank has given me. I can't wait to get to know my troops and see what they are capable of. I know without a doubt that each and every one of them will amaze me in one way or another. They are bright and ready to tackle any challenge that lies ahead of them. Those challenges.... well, I can't wait to tackle them either.

-Guardsman

The Start of a New Year

Yesterday started a new year for me, and an exciting chapter in my life. Yesterday was the first of many days of active duty for deployment.

So far things aren't very exciting, just a lot of mandatory briefings. It was nice that I got to meet my soldiers and start to get to know them. I look forward to getting to know them better and working with them over the next year.

One exciting thing was that I got promoted! I'm now a SSG and a squad leader in my platoon. This is a big step in my career and I look forward to the opportunity to lead these soldiers in combat.

Thats about it for now, as I said things aren't very exciting. I'll be back later to write more.

Guardsman

The Final Days

This is my last weekend at home before the deployment. I'm kind of having a lot of mixed feelings about a lot of things. On one hand I feel like I should be spending time with my family. On the other hand I feel like I should be just doing whatever I want. Its kind of weird.

I can say that I'm getting pretty excited to deploy. For the last 2 months I've been eating pretty much whatever I want and havn't touched the gym... the cost to that? About 20 pounds!!!!! I am DISCUSTINGLY fat right now. I can't wait to deploy, start wearing that body armor that I'm going to hate so much, and start working out! I want to look like a completely different person when I get home!

Thats it for now... I'll be back on here in a couple of days when I actually MOB next week.

Guardsman